Loving the Hater!?

And not equal are the good deed and the bad. Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better; and thereupon the one whom between you and him is enmity [will become] as though he was a devoted friend. 
41:34 

The Noble Quran 

Love is something that everyone likes and hate has no takers. 

When you know that someone hates you it is naturally difficult and seemingly impossible to love that person. This is human but not impractical.  It can be achieved by humans who know the art of forgiving. Those who forgive have a hard time forgetting. When both of these states are achieved it becomes possible to even love your hater! 

Actually the forgiver begins to find himself in a position where he can see that there is something or the other that led to that person's hate. When he realizes that he uses his wisdom not to instigate that very thing and not to make it obvious every time in front of that person.

Actually the hater hates only when he feels uncomfortable about something in you. Either he is jealous, angry or not ready to accept you. 

If it is your intelligence, your worth or your position that makes him jealous and hateful then it is easy for you to control the influence in front of that person (provided that you like to forgive and stay peaceful and calm with him). 

The positive thing that the hater offers you is the feeling that there is something in you that is worth a thought!!

What will hate benefit him with anyway? Hatred does harm both the hater and the hated one. Learn what makes him hate you and then try not to flaunt that when you confront him. Your thoughtfulness and kindness can turn his hate into love! This can happen, has happened and will happen only when you want to replace his hatred with love, when you want to free him of this discomfort and when you want to forgive and forget! Difficult it is, for sure. But isn't love better than hatred? Isn't harmony better than discord? 

Spread love, replace hatred, try to forgive and do not flaunt your brilliance all the time! 

When you come to the hater with warmth, giving him worth, showing him that even his worst feelings didn't put you off, for it wasn't for the things that he hated but for the person that you actually were behind all your shine and worth; a simple person, a loving and peaceful person. A person who prefers love over hatred. 

Which one do you want to hit?

Parents

Parents are like a tree with a dense shade. They protect you, make you feel secure and comfortable.

Even when they are not around they have left the warmth and values with you which keep you strong and well placed. 

As long as they are alive we must take good care of them and respect them. We might find the changes in them as they grow old in the form of them being a little impatient or irritable but we must understand that they have become like children again in this frail age. 

As they were cheerful and patient with us when we were small and made numerous demands we should try our best to be a little forbearing and patient with them.

God loves those who are obedient and kind to their parents. 

Let us put our best in taking care of our parents if they are with us and if they have passed away, the best thing we can do now is do make lots of prayers for them and give in charity so that God keep showering His blessings on them.

Keep your duty and be patient with them especially in their old age. 

Keeping busy.

The secret is keeping busy doing constructive and beneficial things.

Keeping busy has lots of advantages. A person who keeps herself occupied has no time to waste. She has no time for over thinking and taking tension. It is a great blessing in the sense that she does not bother about the negativity in life. 

When one keeps busy with some or the other work that she likes and loves to do she does not have time to needlessly think about others. She has all the things around her but she just does not have spare time to brood over unnecessary things in life. When we keep busy with things we do not pay much attention to the views and opinions of others about us. sometimes those views harm us in the way that they hurt and discourage us. But if a person is too busy she will not have enough time to think over what others said about her or what somebody did to her which made her feel bad. She remembers everything but as she is busy she is not getting time for all these things which is a good sign. 

Keeping busy and loving what we do is very important to lead a happy and contented life. Each of us should be working toward a focus and purpose in life. Nobody runs aimlessly without direction. There should be a direction, an aim and a set of priorities to get the focus on. The purpose or direction itself is the driving force or motivation for any person's meaningful life. 

So, set a target, find your priorities, work toward it daily and keep yourself busy. 

Personal Touch

 I had never been good at judging others although I had been a student of Psychology for many years. I have come to realize that no bookish knowledge can be beneficial for you until you get to have some practical experiences related to it. Whatsoever we read in books does not seem to go into our heads until we get a first hand experience of it.

It is expected of a psychology student that he/she might be having a good understanding of the human behavior, but when real life situations occur whereby one needs to have such an understanding of the persons around we require some period of time to achieve it.

You actually need to get interacted with the person and that too for a good period of time to get a glimpse into his/her nature and behavior. It is possible only over a time-period that one really gets to know people.

Otherwise, only a part of the personality is revealed to us. When we actually live with someone then we know him better. Also, long-lasting friendships and marriages are good examples of how people get to know each other well and then find happiness together. They know each other's weaknesses well so they get along taking each other's faults and good points.

Some aspects of people's personalities can be very obvious and for that we do not need much time to understand them. Some behaviors and expressions are so apparent that you can easily tell if a person is of what type. But as we do not always take so much time while interacting with each and every person that we meet in daily life we tend to take them at face value and they do the same with us. 

Hence, the routine courtesies and manners play a vital role in making us acceptable and welcome in other's zone and vice versa.

General behaviors and expressions are sometimes skin deep and we have to take others at face value and the true nature of the person lies inside him, unrevealed, hidden. 

Just Around the Corner

They are playing hide and seek. The first one has to run around the streets, lanes and by-lanes, cross-roads and junctions and go about the place anywhere. 

The second one is supposed to hide somewhere in any of these areas and show up at any corner of the street suddenly. 

As soon as the second hiding playmate finds the first one at any point the game is over for the first one. She will lose and the second one will be the winner. 

The first one just keeps on taking the tour of the place and during the game she forgets that her playmate will come by at any point and catch her. 

For a while during her running around and touring in the game she forgets about the partner and enjoys her journey around the lanes and by-lanes. 

At some place she finds beautiful flowers so she stops by and smells them. At the other corner she finds an ice-cream cart and she buys one for herself and enjoys it. 

Then she moves on and finds new places to discover and gets fascinated by the buildings, beautiful houses and graffiti on the walls. 

Now she has completely forgotten that she was in a game! 

She hops around, jumping and running and singing to herself. 

At one point as she turns around the corner of a street she finds her playmate standing there...! She says to her,"Gotcha!" 

And this one is taken by surprise! She can not do anything now. 

She has lost the game. 

She goes with her mate silently. 

The first one is named Life and the second "Death". 

Yes, death is just around the corner. 

We better be prepared before it takes us by surprise. 

We should not forget the end of the game while being in it. 

The game will be lost one day. The fun will not go with you but the endeavor will. 

Have Faith.

As human beings we are weak and erring. No one on the face of this earth is perfect. It is natural that we forget, fall into error and make mistakes. This does not mean that we will not be conscious of it. It simply means that we do not do all these mistakes and wrongs purposely, deliberately or intentionally rather we are caught in a moment of weakness, forgetfulness, negligence, irresponsible behavior and the promptings of the devil. Any of the mentioned things can happen and make us do the thing in the undesirable way. 

The thing which is now to keep in mind is that we realize that we have done something wrong. It keeps us poking and twitching in our heart to the point that we are unable to get it off our thoughts. This is the first step toward the journey of self analysis and finally self actualization. We have realized that we have done some bad thing. First we recognize it as something bad and secondly we accept that we have done it. 

From this step begin the other steps which can lead us to a state where we can feel light and free of the burden of wrongdoing.

After we realize our mistake we feel bad about it. We feel guilty and remorseful. We can have the choice of letting us be in the state and always bear a burden upon us. The other choice being accepting the mistake and consciously seeking to rectify it. 

We can see now the nature of our wrong and according make amends. If we have hurt someone verbally or physically we can always ask him or her to forgive us. We can do some good to the same person and try erasing the effect of our misbehavior. In the similar way we can rectify any wrong done by us through admitting and saying that we are sorry about that. 

If it is something against our own selves which no one knows and only we know in our hearts about it then we need not make it known to anyone. We can just take sometime to ourselves and think over it. We can ponder over the reasons as to why it happened. Then we can firmly resolve never to repeat the same thing again. Here comes the power of Faith and Prayers. We all know that we are created beings and our Creator is far superior to our humble selves. Our Faith gives us hope of forgiveness from His Vast and Unlimited Mercy. 

We just need to have faith in ourselves and not punish ourselves by always brooding over the mistakes and remaining sad and hopeless. On the contrary we should be positive in accepting that we did a mistake and sincerely want to put things into place again. The Faith in the Creator gives us the Hope and Courage to carry on and move on in life howsoever bad we have been but only have sincerely felt the need to cleanse ourselves of all our wrongs and to free ourselves from the burden of guilt and remorse. 

The conscious efforts not to repeat the same mistakes again can finally lead to lesser chances of falling deep into the same mistakes. Have Faith. Have Courage. Have Hope and Just Move on in Life with Sincerity and Honesty.